电影与书与绿植

因为代码写的多了,在写文章的时候不由自主会夹带上写代码的习惯。每句话考虑良久,反复确认前后的关联,尽可能去删减冗余的内容,写完后又回过头反复斟酌。可惜写代码与写文章到底不太相同,文章更需要感情的流露和思想的传达,代码则是实现目的的一个过程,更强调严谨和逻辑。美的代码自然有,但是相较于美的文章来说还是少见。文章,如果能多少引起共情,我觉得这样的文章就不差。如果写文章变得像写代码这样,就不免会担心文章挤不出来,反复前后修改之后一气之下删除作罢了。

相较于看电影我更倾向看书。电影需要把所有的内容努力压缩在两个小时内,大多有囫囵吞枣的感觉——起承转合跳不出框子,高潮过后就是心灵鸡汤。尤其是美国式鸡汤,鸡不是散养土鸡,汤煲出来一股浓浓的人工合成的香料味道,不太受得了。最近看了『盲视』,这段时间也许是处于关注科幻小说的心情,对未来(无论是自己的,还是这个世界的)充满了不安和不确定,所以想从他人的想象中寻找到蛛丝马迹。文中提到人无法理解人工智能的思考过程,这已经成为了现实。至于接下来人与『非人构件』的组合而产生人造人的设想,应该是不远的将来——我在世的时间内能达成的。只是不知道会不会有一天人类这个物种为了种群的延续而抛弃掉所谓的自我意识。自我意识是一切痛苦的来源,就好像再不久前看『逃出克隆岛』这部电影时,克隆人的自我意识的觉醒是造成这个克隆岛崩溃的根本原因。书中两个外星『攀爬者』在实验中的表现说明它们能意识到一切其他周围物体的存在,但是它们却无法意识到自己的存在——『想象你是攀爬者。想象你拥有智力,却从不领悟;你有行动日程,却意识不到自己的存在。你的线路嗡嗡作响,满是生存与物种延续的策略,聪明、灵活,甚至很先进一但却没有其他的线路来监督它。你什么都可以想,却意识不到任何东西。』在我看来,这似乎就是目前的人工智能,给定一个输入可以很快的给出一个通过一套既定的规则或者是算法或者是先验条件得到的结论,而自我意识则被排除在外。这么一想,我现在还会烦恼,还会不安,恰恰是要『感谢』这份自我意识仍然留在我脑中的结果。我与这份烦恼不安作斗争的过程中浪费掉了无数的精力,能量,时间——他们本应被更加充分而良好的利用起来,为一个种群个体为这个种群延续下去而努力。或许自我意识的确是我们在进化道路上出现的异端——『黑猩猩比其他猩猩拥有更高的智力,却有一半时间无法意识到镜子中的自己』。

终于得以看完新海诚的『你的名字』。遗忘真的是一件可怕的事情。但是人脑不是电脑,不知道怎么样优化算法可以加快回忆的时间,但这些记忆只属于自己,长不过百年,然后神经通路间的电信号也就和自我意识一样消失了。

正在做一些庭院的整改方案规划,计划在接下来的两个夏天里得以实施。鉴于西雅图的气候,绿手指的训练从室内开始。

Records

I should not have been lingering around for such long time without putting a letter here. Actually, I had written something during this period of time talking about the life I had been spending in Downtown Seattle and the limited knowledge that I had learned about the history of my ex-company and how it impacts the south Lake Union area. This is a question thrown on the website zhihu.com and surprisingly enough, this question was also a question that I asked my interviewer when I was struggling to join my ex-company. The interviewer obviously did not expect to be asked questions like this, but I was at that moment trying to find some answers to it. I would like to know more about this place. And now it has been more than two years since I moved here.

The word record has more than one meanings. Here, I am either writing down some notes to record my life or I think I have made some personal records in my life till now. This month I conquered the Mount St. Helens on the first day of May. That is a nice record in my life since I would like it to become my very starting point of mountaineering. My short-term goal is to get to the top of Mount Rainier. I am targeting that.

This April, I did my last Stevens Pass day on 24th and then made an post-work hike to Tiger Mountain. During this month, I started some other day hikes. I went to Sauer’s Mountain for the first weekend after the St. Helens trip, and then to Lake Serene for the second weekend. I recall that I had been to Lake Serene before but the memory gets blurred since I am going to spend the third summer here and there are so many trails heading to a lake surrounded by mountains. And this is one of the reasons that I believe recording would be helpful. This weekend I went to the Ocean City State Park and be a razor clammer. And the following long weekend I will be spending it in Oregon - my last snowboarding of this season.

I tried to gain some habits to ‘waste’ my money and time and to distinguish myself from others. I hope my efforts will not be in vain.

Far from the Tree

The experience of reading the book ‘Far from the Tree’ is profound.

The search for the self-identity is forever the ultimate goal of an alive human being. I indeed discussed about some related issues with my friend on similar topics, e.g., if being gay is an illness or not, if color blindness is a deficiency or are we ‘normal people’ seeing ‘too much’ than we ought to see. Actually it is a quite pleasant and interesting topic when discussing some unique features not that serious in nowadays and especially when they are not occurring to you. I once wondered that if color blindness is due to the deficiency of the eyes or the deficiency of the brain and it turned out that science proves the correctness of the former explanation. However, as we know color blindness is a kind of heritable gene differences from the rest of us, how we argue a ‘correct sample’ out of all different kinds of gene mutations. Correctness is hard to define, yet we are trying to form a standardized reference out of the the great majority. We say that it is the ‘right’ one when most people possess this feature - an obvious double standard when saying that truth always rests in the hands of a few people.

I watched a video describing a new invention saying that it could give back the original color to the people who have color vision deficiency. It recorded several people who were talking about their lives as they were seeing the world in a different way from the others. Then a doctor put a pair of this special glasses for them. I was truly moved when seeing these guys tearing up and whimpering the fact that a brand new colorful world opened to them. I never doubted about the happiness of being normal again after this cure and started thinking about if I need to support my friend to buy one instantly. I never considered color blindness as a ‘horizontal identity’ - maybe in a fleeting feeling, until I started reading this book.

The book ‘Far from the Tree’ throws out a critical topic that blur the line an identity and an illness. In today’s society, people are more and more acceptable towards gay and considering it as an identity. But what about the autism, the dwarfism, the Down syndrome people, etc. Everyone is seeking the identification from the society as we are always noticing that people are slightly different from the others in all kinds of manners, i.e., appearances, characteristics, personalities. People are acceptable to the minor differences and calling it diversity. But what about those people who share some features that are so different from your experiences that you might call it deficiency? The line between normal and abnormal is as blur as finding out the number of hairlines you have when you turn to be bald.

While social acceptance is pressuring the minority, the acknowledgement from its own family seems is more precious. The book, I believe, tries to illustrate more happy-ending stories and the happy families are relatively in return more inclined to talk about themselves. I cannot imagine how my mom will act if she find out her son is somewhat different from her in some certain ways, or how I will act if in the future my child is to some degree different from myself or my expectations. The issue is even severe for our ‘one-child policy’ generation.

To predict how the society goes is intriguing. We are living in an environment that endures more and more diversities while we are becoming more and more capable of eliminating the differences. Image a future that everyone is a clone of a standard. That is not impossible.